


Nebula

by kkeuchi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tattoos, First Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:45:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkeuchi/pseuds/kkeuchi
Summary: These feelings threaten to consume me, I am unable to pull away from you, my entire heart is giving off light.





	Nebula

“Ah, sorry but I’m clos—” Yifan stops short when he sees the latest person that’s walked through his doors.

“It’s been a while.” He gives Yifan a crooked smile.

“I’m actually closed.” He politely but firmly states, pointing towards the hours posted on the door.

“Why so cold? You don’t remember your first and only boyfriend?” Yixing smirks when he sees Yifan’s glare.

“I’m closed. Get out.”

Walking closer to the counter Yifan is standing behind, he remarks, “Don’t worry, I’m not here to talk about the past. I want you to tattoo me.”

Gaping at the other man, Yifan is stunned. “Are you crazy? You know your parents won’t approve. Especially since they’re only for the  _lower-class_.” Yifan all but spits out the last two words.

Continuing as if he hasn’t heard Yifan, “I am willing to spend, you just need to name your price.”

“It’s unacceptable! I can’t do that!” Vehemently shaking his head, Yifan can’t believe what Yixing is asking of him.

 “I see. I have no other choice then, if you refuse then I’ll have to look for someone else that will.” He turns to make his way to the door, “Sorry for the bother, good bye.”

_Someone… else?_

Contrary to how he feels, painful words come out instead. In the end, he always disappoints Yixing and regrets it too.

Yifan’s eyes widen as he takes in the thought of someone else tattooing Yixing.

“Wait! I’ll do it! Please let me tattoo you!”

Yixing lightly smiles at Yifan, “Excellent. We have a deal then, I’ll leave the design up to you. I hope to have it finished within the month.”

Shaking his head in amusement, Yifan motions him, “Let’s go.”

Blinking in surprise Yixing is visibly confused. “Go where? Dinner?”

“No, you fool, go sit down. We’re starting this today.” Taking a glance at Yixing’s shocked face he continues, “You’re probably busy right? Working late, there’s no way you can comfortably come when I’m actually open.”

“You rushed here didn’t you? I can see you’re all sweaty. You probably tried to finish up so you wouldn’t catch me before close. Sit, cool down and let’s talk so I can get ideas for the design.”

Walking over and dropping down on the plush sofa, he motions for Yixing to do the same. “So what where have you been? What have you been doing for the last seven years?”

“Eight.” Yixing automatically replies.

Giving Yixing a long side look, Yifan corrects himself. “What have you been doing for the last  _eight_  years?”

“I went to Osaka, studied Business, did my Masters. Worked in Tokyo for the last two. I only came back to China a month ago.” Looking sheepish, “I still haven’t unpacked. But what about you?”

“I went to KAIST for Engineering on a full-ride scholarship.” Yifan simply responds.

Yixing looks proud and fondly says, “You were always brilliant. Did you finish the four years and graduate?”

◆◇◆◇◆

_Ten years earlier…_

Yifan had never seen the beauty of the stars before.

Looking out into the distance, he walks right into someone, catching the other boy before he falls.

“I’m so sorry!” Yifan recoils in horror, knowing full well he was at fault.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Huh?” He’s more surprised that this boy doesn’t want compensation, something he surely couldn’t afford. “Oh, I was thinking about the galaxy.” Stammering as he answers the question.

“I’ve been watching you, you know. You always seemed to be daydreaming, looking outside during class. So you’ve finally noticed me?”

◆◇◆◇◆

_Eight years earlier…_

“If I tell you that I’m with you in soul even when we’re apart, do you believe me?”

He was the kind of person that only appeared in dreams. Yifan felt as though he were in one…

…when he wasn’t supposed to be dreaming.

“Good grief. Absolutely despicable.”

“Did you say  _he_? And he wants to be a tattooist? We should send him to the police! Low-life trash!” Yixing’s mother is shrieking. “He isn’t even of our standing and you shouldn’t even consider being with a man!”

“Yixing, if you so much as try anything to sully the honour of our family name ever again, both you and that bastard will pay.” His father’s tone is calm and frigid. “I don’t want to hear anything about this relationship or of him ever again.”

Yifan was in love with the Stars. But his place isn’t beside him no matter how much he wishes it could be.

Never again would he see that person or have that dream.

Not ever.

◆◇◆◇◆

“Of course I did. Top of my class. I might not have liked it, but I finished it.”

“Then why force yourself? You ended up doing what you wanted in the end though!”

Looking to see Yixing in the eye, Yifan replies, “Because of you. I thought that if I worked hard enough, I could eventually become a person worthy enough of you.”

“It took me another two years to see that you weren't coming back.”

He’s unable to tear his eyes away from Yifan’s gaze, their eye contact only broken by Yifan rising from his seat.

“I made you struggle, but I was struggling too Yifan.”

He thought to himself, that it was okay and he doesn't feel a thing. 

But in the end, there's a drag weighing down on him. 

“It doesn’t matter, we were young and delusional.” Motioning for Yixing to follow him, he leads him to a seat asking, “So where do you want your tattoo and how big?”

Yixing sighs at Yifan’s change of topic, but he responds dutifully. “I’d like it on my back, and you can make it as big as you see fit.” Yifan tells Yixing to take off his shirt and lie down comfortably while he quickly prepares the necessary materials. He pulls out a large sketch book from his bag and flips through it quickly, stopping only when he’s found the design he’s been looking for.

“Isn’t there more preparation involved? Like a drawing then a stencil? How is it prepared so quickly?” Yixing questions, a bit put off that Yifan hadn’t even thought very long.

“I’d be lying if I said I’ve never thought of tattooing you. That entire book? Designs I’d only do for you and no other.”

Which is the truth, Yifan draws all of his inspiration from his memories, thoughts, dreams of Yixing. He’s tried multiple times to show the designs to others, to tattoo them on others. But in the end, he feels that if it’s not Yixing, then there’s no point.

Yixing eyes widen, continuously shocked and how unaffected Yifan acts. Yifan quietly and mindlessly goes through the motions of applying the stencil and preparing himself; trying hard not to focus too much on the other male’s bare skin.

He hopes that he’s hiding it well, like all those years before, Yixing never has to do much before Yifan’s left breathless and bursting with feelings.

Like his memories of Yixing, these feelings would not fade. Yifan never thought he would have another chance of touching his skin.

◆◇◆◇◆

It becomes a routine, Yixing showing up whenever. He always sends a text when he has the time to show up at the shop, and Yifan never responds.

But every night Yifan waits regardless.

Those nights that Yifan thought had dragged by, now become unusually short.

They never speak much before or after the sessions.

Yixing always offers to drop Yifan home since it’s late. Yifan always refuses, preferring to go drink on the nights Yixing appears.

After he’s done drinking alone, he climbs to the roof of his apartment, captivated by the beautiful night like Yixing that falls. Far away in the sky, the small stars seemed to shine brighter after he’s seen Yixing. He always thought the younger shined brighter than the golden sun.

Memories of him always bring tears, where all the other people faded away, only Yixing and his feelings remained.

Before they were reunited, in the faintly shining sky, he had engraved their memories deeper and deeper.

Tonight, into the empty wind and night, he whispered the love that he kept.

◆◇◆◇◆

Eventually three weeks pass, and Yifan knows that he’ll finish, and it’ll be the last night.

He feels like he’s lamenting the situation, touching Yixing’s skin a little more than necessary, lingering touches that leaves Yixing shivering.

Unable to stop himself, sunk in the longing that gets heavier as time passes, he leans down and presses a feather light kiss on Yixing’s shoulder.

“It’s done. Have a look.”

Yixing rises and follows Yifan to the large mirror, accepting the handheld mirror to hold up.

“Stars and the galaxy, huh?”

◆◇◆◇◆

_Nine years earlier…_

“I love the Stars!”

Yifan blurts out, face quickly turning red and his brashness.

Yixing smiles, bright and carefree, leaving Yifan a bit breathless.

Completely captivated by his light movements, Yifan couldn’t stop his feelings from spreading inside him. His eyes are only filled with him.

“Do you? Then I promise, one day, I’m going to show you the universe.”

◆◇◆◇◆

“You always did love the galaxy. Remarkable.”

Which is wrong, Yifan swallows the words. What he always did love was Yixing.

Yixing is his world, his small universe. The moment he vanishes, Yifan will disappear as well.

So he put all of his feelings into that piece, hoping that once Yixing leaves again, he’ll finally be able to forget.

He’s a little bitter that it took seeing Yixing once more for him to realize how foolish he’s been all those years.

Turning so that they’re face to face, “Yifan… my parents want me to return to Japan next month.”

Yifan’s mind feels like the galaxy depicted on Yixing’s back; unpredictable and dangerous. He knew this was coming, but at the same time didn’t want to believe it.

“Have a safe flight, it was good to see you again. I’m glad now I don’t have to worry anymore.” He replies stiffly, blinking back the tears. “Goodbye Yixing.”

“I need to know; will you be fine Yifan?”

He takes a deep breath, until both sides of his heart go numb. Letting out his breath slowly, he goes until he feels like there’s nothing let inside.

There’s a long pause before Yifan speaks again, his eyes glistening and shiny with unshed tears.

“You know when you left eight years ago? It hurt for years until it eventually didn’t. I thought it was going to break me, but it didn’t. I didn’t sleep as well at night, but I became fine. Numb, but numb and fine are the same.” Taking a shuddering breath and forcing himself to continue, “But now? You can’t just show up after eight years Yixing. I feel pain, the air feels heavy just being with you now. Do you understand? Do you feel the same way?”

“Yifan–” Interrupting Yixing, Yifan continues.

“I missed you. I still miss you.” He balls his fists together, stabbing his nails into his fleshy palm; just anything so he doesn’t feel the prickling sensation in his eyes. “For nights on end, but I still waited. You weren’t here. Then the dark night comes back, and nothing was there, you still weren't there. Instead the emptiness only grew.”

In the darkness, Yixing was his only light that shone on him.

“Can you please tell me why you wanted me to tattoo you.”

“You put your heart and soul into everything you do. Someday when I die, my body will be burned together with this tattoo.” Smiling sadly at Yifan, “I at the very least wanted you to accompany me in death, if not in this life.”

Yifan chokes, moving to embrace Yixing, burying his face into Yixing’s chest and allowing his tears to flow freely.

“My parents may want me to leave, but I won’t follow their wishes this time.” Reaching up to cup Yifan’s face and wiping away the tears, “I won’t leave you for a second time.”

Yifan thought it was a dream that wasn’t meant to be.

 

 

_His soul sleeps with him…_

_Forever._


End file.
